


Descent

by Wolfsblood5712



Category: Vampire Knight (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Pain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-08
Updated: 2020-09-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:28:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26360395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolfsblood5712/pseuds/Wolfsblood5712
Summary: How can he ever accept what she has become?
Relationships: Cross Yuuki/Kiryuu Zero
Kudos: 5





	Descent

**Warning for spoilers of vampire knight seasons one and two, and for some suicidal thoughts, although it's very mild and like two sentences.**

_The Yuuki you knew is gone forever, for the vampire Yuuki has devoured her_.

I cover my face with my hands, and clench my teeth to stop the sob from escaping my throat.

 _If I ever lose control, I want you to be the one to do it. I want you to kill me_.

Why...?

 _I feel like... I can go on living... as long as you're by my side, Yuki_.

I feel my blood... or is it really even mine anymore...? beginning to boil. I hate what I am... I despise myself.

 _Kill me_.

She convinced me to live... to continue on in this hell that is my life.

_Promise me you'll keep on fighting, so that I'll never have to use this pistol!_

I didn't know, but of course, she didn't either.

It hurts... I feel the ache starting in my chest, spreading throughout my body, burning fiercer and sharper, until I'm engulfed in agony. I know it's blood I need; it is the only thing that will ease my pain and slow my descent into madness.

But I'd rather die than give in to the nature of the beast I've been turned into.

_I won't give up until I've found a way to kill you... to wipe out every one of you filthy beasts in human form!_

And now I am one.

I fought it for so long, let it tear me apart from the inside out, suffered through the pain... It would have been so much easier just to end it, but I lived... lived for Yuki.

Now Yuki, too, is one of them. I hate myself for what I've become.

I hate her...

I love her.

_Why... why is this...? I don't understand. Yuki..._

My eyes are red, and they give off an eerie light in the darkness. I scream as the pain becomes unbearable, but still I refuse to seek sustenance. I will not give in to the bloodlust... not again. I did before... I took Yuki's blood, and even though she offered it, that is something I will never forgive myself for.

 _You have the right to be cruel to me, just as much as you like_. _No matter how much you make me worry, or how much danger you put me in, it will not be enough compensation. Even if I have to sacrifice what's left of my life for you, I will not utter a word of complaint._

Maybe I deserve this. Maybe this is the result of my actions. I fall, writhing in agony, my mind as tormented as my body. I am covered in blood from my wounds, and for a moment, some depraved, starving part of my mind wonders if maybe my own blood would be enough to sate my thirst. I am revolted by my nature. I see that bloody rose, mere inches from me, and I reach for it, my hand around the barrel, my fingers brushing the trigger. that's right... I'm... a vampire. I'm a beast in human form. I'm the very monster I've hated, hunted... I am everything I sought to destroy. And this gun, this bloody rose, it's harmless to humans; but that's not what I am, is it? Not even a trace of humanity left... I am a beast. This bloody rose could kill me. Maybe it should. But in the midst of my pain, and my self loathing, I remember my promise. I promised her I would fight, I would live.

_As long as you're beside me, I can keep on living._

The tears finally fall, and I sob, shaking with the force of it.

 _The Yuki you know is gone forever. The vampire Yuki has devoured her_.

Yuki is a vampire.

Yuki is gone.


End file.
